"Every person needs to take one day away. A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future. Jobs, family, employers, and friends can exist one day without any one of us, and if our egos permit us to confess, they could exist eternally in our absence. Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for. Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.”
- Maya Angelou (Wouldn’t Take Nothing for My Journey Now)
I have too many stories filling me up, words etched into my ribs. It’s driving me mad, but I can’t seem to push away this lethargy and exhaustion. Not even to write. I close my eyes and all I can see are scenes and characters and stories but I can’t get any of them on the page.
I want to curl tight and sleep like I’m dead but can’t. The world is too big for me, stars and galaxies filling each breath until I am choking on the words I cannot force.
I feel like I must sacrifice something, rip some dead limb from my surroundings to jump start my heart. What have I got left to lose? Do I let the beat slow, glacial until the spring thaw? Or set the world on fire and shiver as the bones crack?
Why is there never middle ground? No, easy stepping stones across the ford.
I’m bled dry tonight. Too filled with words and rubble to do more then sit and breathe. Too many shards shifting to dare the jump.
This skin is no longer mine. When did I lose myself?
I’m trying to pack for my trip next week, and I keep running into hilarious options.
I’m trying to find a book that : 1. will make me laugh, and a second book which I can get utterly absorbed in. But at the same time neither of those can be a favorite book since I don’t want to lose them if my luggage disappears.
See, it’s harder then it sounds.
Wisconsin’s 70s right now so I am packing the scarves I never get to wear in the south. Packing for a four day conference w casual clothes and business attire seems like way too many clothes.
Do I pack my journal? Will I have time to write at night? Would it be worth printing a copy of my novel to edit on the plane?
Is a purse a carry on? I’ll have my bag, laptop bag and purse. That seems like too much.
Do I wear jewelry or pack it? Take my fake wedding rings I normally wear when I travel alone?
I’ve decided I need to find someone who is both a fitness trainer and able to teach me something. I hate exercising. It is so boring if all you are doing is going through the motions over and over again. I need something to keep my attention while I exercise.
Think I could find a fitness instructor willing to teach me French while I work out? Intelligent discussions while exercising. Any takers?
Cleaning house and organizing my office this morning in between cooking and trying to fix my office chair.
✔: Trash collected and taken out
✔: Beef stew bubbling on the stove for dinner.
✔: Supplies bought to try the bacon rings that Paul has been raving about.
✔: Plants watered and trimmed.
✔: Office organized and projects laid out to work on.
- Vacuum and sweep the house.
- Mow the lawn and gather debris
- Picture walk at the zoo.
- Complete the next chapter of edits on the Mage.
- Break the next set of wine bottles and add to the box of those that need to be sanded.
- What’s the next big project?
“bustled” is a word! It really is. I even spelled it right! Stop flagging it as misspelled! ARGH!
I’ve decided I’m not having a bad day. I’m planning.
Planning for tomorrow and ignoring how today’s problems and lows tugged at me.
It was not a bad day. It was a day. Tomorrow will be another and we will try to get more done.