Why do I let myself get this way?
I will be having a wonderful week, a darling weekend, and yet I am depressed and tired at the end of it.
I was trying to make myself write in my journal about this week and could not make myself even review it. Nothing truly went wrong or even badly. It was a good week. But I am lonely and depressed tonight for no real reason. Each small social error or small problem seems much to large for what actually happened.
I am trying to be productive and get somethings done around the house and instead I am wanting to curl up and hold myself tight so that I can ignore the weight on my chest and the shakes seizing my spine. I hate feeling like this. That my body is not mine to control, nor my mind. I know it is just my anxiety getting away with me.
I hope that this is just me coming down from the high of a new week at work and long days full of driving and work; the exertion of a quiet person having to be extremely social and polite in ways that I am not used to.
Here is hoping that I am able to breathe better next week.