Introspection

People shouldn’t be angry that some of us are seeds just planted and some of us are small trees. http://rvxn.org/

Why is it so hard to let go of fear and panic. Why do we cling to it like a security blanket. Why is it so tempting to curl in bed and cling to the fear as it grips my chest till I cry? Why do I feel like I need to feel this way?
I am allowed to be happy. No one can be happy all the time but why do I feel like I am making myself miserable just for the hell of it? Why do I doubt this happiness?
Do I need things to make me happy? No. Do I need people to make me happy? No.
But that does not mean I cannot be happy with others. That does not mean I have to isolate myself and be miserable.
Yes, I am an introvert and love relaxing alone with my dog or a book and I need that time to recharge, but that does not mean I have to force myself into being alone.
Lately, I have been horribly busy with my house and with work and have been trying to cram in a day or two with friends and family and some how am leaving out the time for myself. I have been traveling and studying and working non-stop. I am ready for some downtime.
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I am fighting to no let go of things I enjoy. This is my year of Yes, but I do not want to do things alone. If I truely enjoy it and it is good for me then I am going to keep doing it. Yes, I will.
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