It is really strange when you realize that the person you have shared everything with, your best friend, truly does not know you.
I was letting my friend read some poems I have been writing and she was clearly bothered by a few. I know my poetry is dark so I asked her if she had a problem with how dark the subject matter was. She said no, she was not bothered by the subject, she was bothered by the fact that she never knew I went that deep into my depressions.
We have discussed how depressed we both get at time. We have shared episodes and sat and cried togther. How could she not know? This discussion has made me question how close we truly are as friends. If she can gloss over serious discussions we had…
I don’t know, but it hurt me in a small way and I am still probing the wound trying to see why I feel betrayed when she did not seem to understand or remember the conversations we had multiple times.